We’re going to Macau for this year’s year end holiday! How cool’s that? Very. We’re going to be taking Tiger Airways to Macau! How cool’s that? Not really.
So anyway, Macau’s one of the few countries that have only a budget airline as a direct flight there. That’s terrible. For a country that’s filled with casinos, don’t you think having to take a budget airline there is just, wrong? Now now, I have nothing against budget airlines. Well at least not until this fateful day when I took my first one. As usual, let me list them out one by one.
1) Aren’t air stewardesses supposed to be pretty? I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I really do think that when people take flights for holidays/business etc they would want to enjoy themselves on the plane flight and not contract cataract cancer?
2) Okay so when people take budget airlines, they probably want to save some money on the plane tickets. Or in some cases, they simply have no other choice. However, I don’t see why just because they’re paying a little lesser, facilities such as toilets, eating outlets and the service provided should be compromised upon. Seriously, what are the people in charge thinking? So is Budget Terminal the ugly, ignored, despised little sibling of Terminals 1, 2 and 3? How can Changi Airport seek to retain No. 1 status when such issues are overlooked?
3) Waiting 45 minutes to collect your checked-in luggage is a real pain. However, when the arrival hall doesn’t have enough trolleys for the passengers on a single flight alarm bells should really be ringing right? A single flight, and not even a large one. About 180 passengers, and they can’t even provide 180 trolleys? I mean, seriously, is Changi Airport’s Budget Terminal under such a huge budget constraint?
Holiday’s just about to get started and here I am already complaining about all the inadequacies I see. Things really can’t get any worse.. right? So I should really shut up, quit complaining and enjoy the flight while 0gling the pretty flight attendant until we touchdown in Macau. Oh great, this flight attendant’s a male.
Today I took a cab home. So into the cab i got and said, “SBA please.”
Silence.
“Uncle, SBA please you know where that is?”
Silence.
“Oi hello, uncle (in Chinese: you don’t understand English is it)?”
Uncle turned around and shouted in Chinese, “You young people, why must follow all the angmoh and speak English? Chinese people should ONLY SPEAK CHINESE. That’s how the world should be. Chinese people speaking English is pathetic.”
My dear taxi driver uncle, I can only say, sure sure sure.
Time sure flies when you’re having fun, but nobody said it’ll pass THIS fast. Normally people would say “in the blink of an eye, our holiday in Canada has come to an end”. But that’s way too commonly overused, so let’s try a few of our own..
1) In bad English: Whoa today I check my watch, go home time already!
2) In a mixture of English and Mandarin: Walao, wo gen ni jiang hor, time zhen de pass de hen kuai hor?
3) Or, in a totally familiar way of speaking: Wa, I close eye open eye sia lah, back here already sia.
So yes, you’ve got it. I can’t get over the fact that I’m already coming back to Singapore. However, as much as I miss Canada, I’m needed more here! I know I will suffer some withdrawal symptoms, missing all the fun times in Canada, but then nobody said that I couldn’t relive the happy times I had in Canada. So let’s take a trip down memory lane together..
Touching down at Calgary’s airport, we were warmly picked up by my uncle Philip and auntie Jamie! After all our warm hugs and kisses were exchanged, we went to a Vietnamese restaurant to fill our tummies.
Very quickly, we developed..
a weird fetish for taking weird photographs..
Most pictures actually look good because I’m featuring in them, but I must admit some of them that doesn’t have me in them actually look pretty okay as well. Like this one below.
Miss Amanda Low, our very own superstar!
Some pictures look pretty amazing, especially those that are made up of scenic views..
There’s no need to put too many words into describing them, they’re simply breathtaking.
Some like it big, some like it small. It’s everyone’s own personal preference. But when it comes to fruits,
I agree,size does matter.
I know it’s hard to believe. But I’m telling you!
We’re seriously addicted to taking pictures like this one!
Sometimes I feel like I’m being stalked by imaginary people…
But at other times,
It’s just the matter of always being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
This past month of fun couldn’t have been possible without all the love and generosity from
Our dearest Uncle Philip!
And our beloved Auntie Jamie!
And Moose.
So thanks Uncle, Auntie and Amanda for the month of warmth in a cold country!
So this morning, we were at the airport at 4.30am (yes you guessed it, I didn’t sleep the whole night, neither did the other 2 cousins. But it’s okay, cool kids don’t sleep at all.) There we were, waiting like retarded morons (no Akhil, I’m not referring to you) for quite sometime, until the counter staff began strolling out of their office to man the counter half and hour before check-in closes. Great job Horizon Air! But that’s not the end of it though.
Our flight was canceled and these people can still stroll out of their office half an hour before check-in closes and smile and laugh and joke with one another and take their time setting the counter up. They didn’t even bother to change the status of the flight to “canceled”. Such poor service, but then again I guess that’s what one would expect from a small airline.
Most of the staff behind the counter are friendly despite their horrific inefficiency. But I think today’s the day that I finally really understand the true meaning of the word bimbo. That’s what the staff behind the counter were. Bimbos. With three people at one computer and no apparent results, I really don’t know what to say. For quite some time, they were staring at their computer screens scratching their heads assigning us to random flights and tagging our luggages in the process before frantically tearing off the tags after they have finally tagged all our luggages as they only realised then that whatever they supposedly found for us just wouldn’t work. So there we were standing around for quite some time while these awfully incompetent barbie dolls whittled away at their keyboards pouting and pondering.
And just like any other novel/drama serial, there is always a climax. From the Horizon staff room a mere 100 metres away, out marched a woman (at least I think she is a woman) who seems to have just popped out of Planet of the Apes. You would think that for someone who’s as visually appealing as diarrhoea, that person would be unsettlingly friendly to make up for the visual torture that she subjects people to when they look at her. But no. Her inner beauty blinds me. Furthermore, she has a voice that makes food blenders sound like angelic music. Let me describe her in detail, so for now, let’s just address her as Kendra. (Name has not been changed to protect the privacy of the undeserving person.)
So moving on to her awe-inspiring attitude. As she couldn’t find a suitable flight for us to get out of Calgary, she just waved her stunted arms and exclaimed, “we can’t do anything for you, so you’ll just have to get out of line and call reservations to change your own flight.” Wow that’s really helpful of you lady. Right then, some random dude who had been waiting in line for the past 2 hours came up to the counter to ask what was going on. “Oh there’s no problem, the flight’s been canceled that’s all,” spat Kendra who was the epitome of calm. Honestly, if the flight’s been canceled, THEN TELL THE PEOPLE INSTEAD OF KEEPING THEM IN THE DARK. So enlightened dude proceeded to ask, “so uh, what do we do?” Miss Universe Kendra then retorted, “there’s the end of the line, you can join the line and wait.”
It’s at times like these that you would think the airline is somewhat apologetic for canceling your flight before going on to hide that fact from you, but no, they have to employ people who are as seductively attractive as Kendra, with such a pleasant voice matched with the attitude of a bull that sees red. I can only say wow, I’m genuinely impressed.
Earth Hour 2009! It’s so cool and it’s gonna be a super happening event! How’d I know this? That’s because it’s featured on the Calgary Herald as a front page headliner! So exciting ain’t it? And it makes you feel like you’re doing a whole lot for a good cause! The whole of Calgary, even downtown’s gonna be completely lights out for a whole hour from 8.30pm – 9.30pm. Damn cool. Here’s a pic too!
So there’s a poster! It’s gonna be a real big event and the whole of Calgary’s gonna be there! Gorgeous ain’t it? Or how we say it back in Singapore, “wah seh sibei happening sial!”
Or so we thought.
So down to the Earth Hour party we went, ahead of time. “Oh dear it’s gonna be pitch dark” someone thought out aloud. So naturally, we expected to see total darkness.
However at around 8.45, fifteen minuts past lights off time, this is what we saw.
Our first thought was, “OMG we’re at a loser Earth Hour party.” Then we heard the speaker talking. Okay the speaker thingy wasn’t really talking, rather, it’s the person with the mic that was talking and the speaker thingy amplified her words. So it went something like that:
Dudette with mic: HELLO Earth Hour geeks!
Earth Hour Geeks: HELLO!!
Dudette with mic: We are so glad you’re all here today, this year’s Earth Hour is such a success! Hip hip hooray!
And here I am thinking, “yeah right no wonder you’re an Earth Hour geek. The inside of my nostril is darker than downtown’s skyline.” Seriously, what a bunch of geeks. The skyline’s all lighted up as if they’re expecting UFO visitations from the Martians and there they are claiming that their Earth Hour’s a success? Either their expectations are ridiculously low, or it’s just me, my cousins and the camera that just can’t see the total darkness coming from downtown Calgary.
Edmonton’s a three hour drive from Calgary. So we woke up early, and made the long drive down to Edmonton. Initially, I thought I would be bored during the drive there and back, but no I wasn’t. And that’s all thanks to my new friends. The Patapons.
They’re really lovely people. They sing lovely songs too.
It’s a really cool game. You try to make the little Patapons sing songs so that they’ll move around and attack enemies. Songs like this following one.
Okay so I lied. The whole game is about making the Patapons sing one song. ONE song. Throughout the whole game. Yep. That song. Don’t believe me?
It’s a really fun game, but Patapon’s really all I remember about Edmonton.
Today we went to Red Lobster for dinner. Mom said, “get a present for your auntie.” And since we couldn’t figure out what Auntie needed, we collectively decided that a dinner treat at Red Lobster was most appropriately appealing. And it was.
When we first stepped in, the place was packed. And I really do mean PACKED. Hanging high above was this banner.
Then it all hit me. I was beginning to think, “is it just me or is this place just weird?” That’s because there were really strange looking people opening the door for me and all, and cops in full uniforms and fully armed with their pistols serving people dishes. What a strange world isn’t it?
Since the place was packed, and we were asking for a table for 6, we had to wait. So we waited. And we were given a number tag.
Me: OMG Pauline jie look, walao that woman the phone damn bling sia. Got so many lights at the side like fireworks liddat.
Pauline: Huh where? Oh. That’s the number tag you toot.
Me: Oh.
So, when it’s your turn to be seated, this number tag apparently lights up at the side blinking colorful lights nonstop. Hence the bling. Actually, I’m really way smarter than I was at that moment. Really.
Drinks here are really quite exciting. But none so exciting as this one.
It’s called the Malibu Hurricane. I have no idea why it tastes like laksa. What a strange taste for a drink with such a nice name. The hurricane must have been so strong it swept Katong Laksa into it and became a drink. Well done.
Moving on, after being served ice water at gunpoint, we ordered our food. The following pictures are intended to serve no other purpose but to make you jealous.
Little Amanda had this. I have no idea how it tastes like. However, it plastered a smile onto this face after eating it.
So I’m guessing it should be pretty alright.
Uncle had this.
It might look yummy and nice to you, but I’m telling you it it tastes way better than it looks. Just look at those scallops wrapped in bacon. I think it might even be possible to sink into depression once you tasted this and realise shortly after that you can’t have this everyday.
Auntie had this.
Imagine saying, ” I had fries and crab for dinner today.” Sounds absolutely ridiculous doesn’t it? But then again, if you have cops serving you your seafood dinner, anything’s possible.
And the three older cousins (out of which the guy one’s really cool) each had one of this.
The Ultimate Feast. How aptly named. Shrimps, prawns, Snow Crab, Lobster and a cute little baked potato, all on a single plate. If this dish was flushed down your toilet bowl, you would suddenly want to be a plumber. No shit. (Pun totally intended.)
Tonight’s the night of the National Hockey League game, Calgary Flames versus Dallas Stars. And Uncle got us cousins tickets! Thanks Uncle!
Ice Hockey is such a big sport over here and after going for a home game at the Pengrowth Saddledome cheering on the Flames, I can definitely see why now. The home crowd and the support that they shower their team with is simply amazing.
No, it’s not the kind of atmosphere that you get when the Lions host a soccer game at the National Stadium, that would be a huge understatement. Imagine announcing to a school of kindergarteners that they are going go have all-day recess for the next one month.
Ya this is more like it.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Let’s go over how ice hockey is played.
Let’s take a look at the thing everyone’s so obsessed about.
This is the puck that everyone’s trying to beat with their sticks. It’s no bigger than your palm so imagine being seated far up high trying to see this in the ice ring. Hard to picture? Imagine the fullstop at the end of this sentence moving rapidly across your computer screen. And you try to keep your eyes on it for 20 minutes. Goodluck.
So, at the beginning, the game started off pretty slowly. And me, being me, got distracted and my eyes began to wander to the advertisement boards…..
This picture made me think back to another advertisement I saw prior to entering the stadium.
Hockey is a family sport, seeing the number of kids there were at the game. But sometimes I really wonder, what happens when a 5 year old kid who’s just learning to read asks, “daddy, what’s viagra?”
a weird fetish for taking weird photographs..
Miss Amanda Low, our very own superstar!
There’s no need to put too many words into describing them, they’re simply breathtaking.
I agree, size does matter. 
We’re seriously addicted to taking pictures like this one!
But at other times,
It’s just the matter of always being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Our dearest Uncle Philip!
And our beloved Auntie Jamie!
And Moose.
Here’s one more for the memories!
Sometimes, it just happens.
So there’s a poster! It’s gonna be a real big event and the whole of Calgary’s gonna be there! Gorgeous ain’t it? Or how we say it back in Singapore, “wah seh sibei happening sial!”
Our first thought was, “OMG we’re at a loser Earth Hour party.” Then we heard the speaker talking. Okay the speaker thingy wasn’t really talking, rather, it’s the person with the mic that was talking and the speaker thingy amplified her words. So it went something like that:
From heat walls…
To musically lighted floorboards…
From act cute cousins…
To really cool cousins…
To ultra cool thermal cameras on the big screen…
Really random, but I think the guy in the distortion mirror’s really good looking. Sigh.
